Mastering Confident Horse Riding: Tips From a Mindset Coach

Confident horse riding - it's the golden ticket to a harmonious partnership with your horse. But what if your inner critic drowns out the call of the saddle, leaving you paralyzed by fear or self-doubt? Don't think for a second you're the only one dealing with this – you've got company.

In this episode of the Curious Equestrian Podcast, host Anna Louise sits down with mindset coach Alex Fleming, who traded a career riding into one transforming riders from the inside out. Alex, no stranger to the heart-stopping realities of confidence crises, helps riders untangle the mental knots that keep them from experiencing the joy and freedom of confident horsemanship. Step into the arena of your own mind, where self-doubt and fears are ridden roughshod by practiced affirmations and hard-won confidence.

The Crash That Redefined Confident Horse Riding

For Alex, the journey started with not one, but two traumatic riding accidents. Though initially brushing them off, the mental and emotional aftershocks started to surface in the following months. Once a picture of passion and drive, Alex found herself procrastinating, making excuses, and eventually, experiencing full-blown panic attacks while riding. It was a far cry from the carefree joy she used to feel.

The breaking point? A seemingly ordinary day, riding a client's horse. "Nothing was happening," Alex reveals, "we were just walking along. At that time, I didn't understand what was going on in my mind as much as I do now." Despite her deep knowledge of horses and horsemanship, her own mind had become uncharted territory.

Battling Internal Demons

Like many horse riders, Alex tried to push through, convincing herself that she could simply "get on with it." But this pressure only fueled a cycle of blame and self-criticism, which Alex now recognizes as a common pitfall.

"It's so easy to fall into the trap of 'I was doing this' or 'I should be doing that,'" Alex points out. This backwards thinking pattern traps us in yesterday's mentality, freezing our progress. It's only when we accept our current reality, with kindness and without judgment, that true progress can begin. This means starting where we are mentally and emotionally, not where we think we should be based on past experiences or the achievements of others.

Why Conventional Wisdom Often Backfires

Equestrian culture, steeped in tradition, often promotes certain beliefs that Alex argues, can be detrimental to a rider's confidence. Phrases like "don't let it get away with it," though well-intentioned, can create a dynamic of fear and tension between horse and rider. This can result in a horse that is trained through intimidation, not trust.

Alex suggests flipping the script: what if we prioritized building a partnership built on mutual respect and understanding? First, we must dismantle the comfort of our familiar thought processes, and instead, choose to passionately disagree with ourselves. Rather than viewing a horse's hesitation or resistance as a "win" for them, we can approach these moments as opportunities for connection and learning. Suddenly, riding horses feels different when you flip your mindset – and that difference is confidence-boosting.

Get Off, and That's Okay.

Another widely held belief: getting off when things get tough equals defeat. But Alex has a different perspective - she sees groundwork as a necessary stepping stone to building rapport with your horse, and confidence flows from there.

Working with horses should be enjoyable, and sometimes, getting off is the kindest and most productive option. And for those who feel apprehensive about their horse's ground manners? That's precisely where the training focus should lie. As Alex aptly puts it, "Everything the horse does on the ground will reflect how it behaves in the saddle."

Horse Riding Confidence: A Tale of Two Brains

Alex explains that we have multiple parts to our brain but she mainly focuses on the conscious and subconscious mind. Our conscious mind is the goal setter: the voice encouraging us to tackle a new dressage test or jump that intimidating oxer.

Then there's the subconscious, which operates primarily on emotion and instinct, driven by the need to protect us. Alex refers to the well-known Snickers advert, "'You're not yourself when you're hungry' - that's me.". It's in these moments when we're tired, overwhelmed, or stressed, that the subconscious takes over, making rational thinking near impossible. This explains why seemingly minor things like a horse's swishing tail can send some riders into a tailspin.

Here's the crux: the subconscious struggles to distinguish between an actual threat (like a predator chasing us) and a perceived one (like approaching a jump we've convinced ourselves is scary). The key? Uncovering why the subconscious perceives something as dangerous in the first place. Riding with confidence hinges on understanding the delicate dance between the rational, thinking self and the emotions that drive intuition – once aligned, a rider's potential unfolds.

The 80/20 Rule For Confident Horse Riding

Striving for a constant state of pushing boundaries is, as Alex explains, a surefire way to sabotage our confidence and drain the joy from our riding. She proposes instead the 80/20 rule: aim to spend 80% of your time with your horse doing activities that fall within both of your comfort zones.

We're not looking to avoid the heavy lifting; we're just redistributing the weight. Pushing past our limits is where the magic happens, Alex says, and that's where true growth and progress await. But for this to feel manageable and ultimately enjoyable, it's about striking a balance. By prioritizing a strong foundation of relaxation and enjoyment, those forays into the 20%, those moments of stepping outside the comfort zone, feel far more achievable.

Building Confidence, One Small Step (Not Leap) at a Time

Too often, when confidence takes a hit, we make the mistake of striving to immediately jump back to where we were before the setback. This approach is akin to expecting a runner with a sprained ankle to immediately resume training for a marathon. It simply isn't realistic.

Alex instead suggests taking a step back to go forward. This might involve temporarily lowering jumps, revisiting foundational groundwork exercises, or taking a break from competitions. Remember: a step back doesn't mean giving up - it simply allows us to rebuild confidence from a place of strength and positivity.

Rewiring Our Brains For Confidence

Breaking free from the grip of those ingrained limiting beliefs is no easy feat. So, how can riders go from knowing what they should do, to actually implementing these changes in those crucial moments? For anyone seeking to supersize their success, Alex dishes out expert advice that's surprisingly straightforward yet ridiculously effective.

• Cultivate Awareness: It starts with recognizing the ingrained beliefs or "soundtracks" that play on repeat in our minds. A subtler approach begins with slowing down and really listening to ourselves. In the quiet recesses of our minds, we often overlook a transformative instrument waiting to be wielded – our own murmurs of self-doubt and intuition.

• Craft a "Confidence Plan:" Alex suggests creating a personalized pre-ride ritual that involves reflecting on potential triggers, acknowledging those old "tapes" playing in the background, and setting clear intentions for the session. When you're attuned to your horse's feelings, you create a sense of calm focus that stays with you even in the most trying moments.

Mastering the Art of Reframing

Our brains have a natural negativity bias, clinging to those less-than-ideal moments with an iron grip. Actively cultivating gratitude for what's going “right”, though seemingly simple, can be incredibly powerful. By celebrating those small victories, noticing those moments of connection with our horses, and shifting our internal dialogue to one of encouragement, we can slowly begin to rewire those deeply ingrained negative thought patterns.

Remember, Alex encourages us, building unshakeable confidence takes time. Just like developing any new skill, practice, patience, and a hefty dose of self-compassion are crucial. Confident horse riding, it turns out, is a journey that starts within. When we climb into the saddle, we're partnering with an incredibly powerful creature that demands respect, discipline, and harmony. What emerges is a newfound trust not from polished maneuvers alone, but from fundamental shifts in our own mindset. Alex shows us that taking the leap is more than worth it - it's a decision that can truly pay off.

Don't forget to grab a copy of the free guide. Imagine having a serene, synergy-driven relationship with your horse - it's within reach! Tap into a wealth of proven, step-by-step techniques that shatter confidence barriers, so you can experience the pure joy of horse riding together.

FAQs about confidence horse riding

How to build your confidence in horse riding?

Peel back the layers of negativity and replace them with empowering attitudes that drive you forward. Incorporate mindfulness practices, like pre-ride rituals or gratitude exercises. Trade unrealistic expectations for modest, attainable milestones, and make sure you're celebrating each step forward – no matter how small. Hang out with your horse on the ground – it's a simple way to forge a strong bond and minimize risks, making every ride a joyride.

How to stop being nervous when riding?

One of the most effective ways to quiet a racing mind and jittery nerves is to learn how to calm the system that's driving them: your nervous system. Breathing exercises are a powerful relaxation tool - they actually trigger a calming response within your body. Also, groundwork can be extremely beneficial in these instances - don't be afraid to get off and work through challenges from the ground. It can be less pressure for you both, leading to a quicker resolution than attempting to handle the problem in the saddle. Imagine your horse is a mirror, reflecting your emotions right back at you. To create a more harmonious partnership, try taking a few deep breaths and trusting in yourself - your horse will follow suit.

What drives some people to climb on and ride with conviction, while others freeze at the mere thought?

While a solid foundation in riding techniques is certainly important, confident riders possess a unique combination of mental fortitude, self-awareness, and empathy. They crank up their courage when faced with obstacles, using each stumble as a stepping stone to growth, and fostering strong bonds with their horses built on mutual respect. A confident rider understands how to feel the horse's body language and respond accordingly.

Building confidence in the saddle takes time, patience, and practice - so how long is the journey to become a skilled horse rider?

Confidence horse riding is an ongoing process, with both good days and bad days along the way. While some may experience quicker breakthroughs than others, remember that building lasting confidence is about long-term commitment to self-improvement and a willingness to challenge those ingrained fears and doubts. There is no magic timeframe, but with dedication, patience, and the right guidance, it is an achievable goal for any rider. Break your goals into manageable chunks, and you'll start to notice a significant boost in your self-assurance.